Flattery Will Get You…Where?

Everyone in my family manages to be civil to one another on Thanksgiving. That’s because we don’t invite the drama kings and queens anymore, the ones who use up all the oxygen in the room. Some people enjoy the drama but I just want to lapse into a pecan pie-induced coma and dream of a late night turkey sandwich in peace.

I’m not enjoying the knock-down, drag-out fight between AT&T and Verizon either. AT&T brought suit against Verizon claiming that Verizon’s “There’s A Map for That” ad campaign confuses customers. A judge wasn’t convinced however and denied AT&T’s request to pull the ads. I’m a customer and I was confused but only about why Verizon would choose this route. AT&T’s iPhone ads, with the tagline “There’s An App for That” have become so iconic that it’s become part of the vernacular. I understand why Verizon thinks it’s clever to turn that on its head with the whole “map” thing. I just think it’s beneath advertisers when they resort to knocking each other down instead of building themselves up.

Optimum has been knocking Fios with its parody ads, depicting the Fios guy making the rounds with his product pitch, shadowed by his mother who keeps urging him not to lie. They also run a spot with angry customers lining up to return their Fios systems in favor of cable.

Apple knocks Microsoft’s new operating system, Windows 7 in “Broken Promises”, one of their latest ads in which we travel back in time to hear their spokesperson urging us to trust him. Microsoft turned Mac’s “I’m a PC” line on its head too, but in a way that works. Mac’s famous campaign with Messrs. PC and Mac often starts with Microsoft’s hapless pitchman claiming, “I’m a PC”. To introduce Windows 7, Microsoft uses that very line to illustrate the many people who use the system and their self-delusion that they came up with the idea for it. People generally like the ads and Microsoft’s CEO Steve Ballmer told investors today that it’s selling well, twice that of any prior operating system.

I know that rivals knock each other all the time but the ads from Verizon and Optimum are a bit cringe-worthy, like watching people you know hurl insults at each other, a sport many of us may engage in next week at Thanksgiving dinner. (Just kidding, sis.) Optimum started knocking Verizon and then Verizon started knocking AT&T and sheesh, now I’m just as weary of these ads as I am of politicians’ mud-slinging. Spots that knock just make consumers wary of everyone involved. In this case, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. It’s like a left-handed compliment – you can sense its mean-spiritedness but you’re also just a little confused.

When You Wish Upon A Star

This morning at 2a.m., when my home alarm screeched, “PATIO DOOR OPEN” and my adrenaline kicked in, I simultaneously reached for the panic button and the heavy flashlight-slash-weapon by my bed. Thankfully, it was just my husband, who’d forgotten the alarm was on when he decided to step outside to view the Leonid meteor showers. Sadly, the skies were too cloudy for him to see any stars but for scaring me half to death, I briefly considered obliging him with some – cartoon-style – by means of a frying pan to the head.

Stars of another kind are on my mind today as Brandchannel speculated about whether fans of celebrities on Twitter will un-follow them once they start shilling products via Ad.ly. Um, no, I don’t think so. Why do tweeple follow celebrities in the first place? To hear what they’re doing, where, and with whom; possibly even to garner an @reply from them. For some, that would elevate an ordinary, merely mortal day into something to, well, tweet about. We want to know “who” celebrities are wearing and we wear celebrities too, in the form of their eponymously named fragrances and clothing lines. Some celebrities are so popular on Twitter that they merit their own Alltop page.

Why shouldn’t celebrities use Twitter to hawk their wares or someone else’s? How will it differ from any other selling venue, i.e. a movie junket or book tour? The Oprah Effect is well-known; her mere mention of a product or book can send sales through the roof. Variety reports that Michael Buble’s appearance on Oprah in October helped launch his new CD into the stratosphere – #1 on Amazon. But not every celebrity has a talk show, although I admit that of late, it seems like they do.

The celebrities I tend to follow are of the non-celluloid variety – authors; chefs; pundits. They tweet about their books, stockpots, and speeches and I’ve yet to un-follow them. In fact, many people on Twitter are pretty much selling something even if it’s just their own random thoughts. During the course of my decidedly non-celebrity day, I receive all manner of pitches via phone, email, blog, work, school, community. But I’m a grown-up; I know how to say “no, thank you”. I don’t unfriend my neighbor because her kid is selling Girl Scout cookies. I admire Ad.ly for their business model. Celebrities are tweeting and often, they mention products, places, or services that they like. For Ad.ly, they can choose the products, like Ashton Kutcher has with Nikon. Celebrity endorsements can make all the difference between a so-so product and a successful one. The reflective glow from a celebrity’s star can make a product shine. In nature, as in Twitter, the key of course will be to strike a balance between too few and too many tweets. A gentle, starry night is always better than a storm.

Festivus

I like to think that I have a good sense of humor. I wouldn’t have survived 12 years of Catholic school at Our Lady of All Sorts of Stuff without one. Not everyone appreciates it though, least of all Sister Fistina, when I asked her if The Feast of the Assumption celebrated the day The Virgin Mary assumed she was pregnant.  The look on her face and my classmates’ admiration was almost worth the beating I got. But not everyone finds it funny. No doubt I’ve offended someone just now. But I do it to make a point: you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

Gap Inc. found that out this week when The American Family Association launched a boycott of the company and its brands, even asking consumers to sign a pledge on their site. Why? It’s almost too comical for me to report. They allege that the retailer’s new advertising campaign – wait for it – “downplays the word ‘Christmas’”. Oh, Lord, what next, a claim that the models cavorting like cheerleaders are not forming a pyramid but a pentagram?

I’m not a big fan of the campaign from Crispin, Porter + Bogusky though. I know they’re trying to infuse Gap clothing with a cool factor but it just leaves me cold. Call me old fashioned, but if you’re selling me clothes, I’d like to get a better look at them. I don’t think you can sell consumers on the idea that if they aspire to Gap clothes, they’ll be as cool as cheerleaders. That’s a lesson you probably learn well in high school — that cheerleaders are cool — I wouldn’t know as mine was an all-girls high sans any sports teams requiring cheerleaders. I love the FOX show, “Glee” (BIG fan) and although the agency says their concept for the ad began before they saw the show, it is reminiscent of the numbers performed by the show’s glee club and cheerleaders. But that’s neither here nor there; the models actually do chant “Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanzaa, Go Solstice.” Alright, that last is a bit over the top but apparently, the AFA thinks the reference to Christmas is insufficient and the mention of the other occasions, “patronizing”.

This story struck a chord with me because of the issue of political correctness. Should an advertiser use the word “Christmas” and risk offending consumers who don’t celebrate it? Does an advertiser use the more politically correct term “Holiday” which could encompass Hanukkah, et al? In this, I think we take ourselves a little too seriously. During my career, I’ve developed Christmas products that purposely did not say “Christmas” on them. That was alternately, in the hope that they’d have a shelf life beyond December 25 (keep dreaming) or because I’d had heated discussions with global partners who preferred “Happy Christmas” or for whom the term “Season’s Greetings” held no meaning. In the end, the products were manufactured without any messaging which I felt left them soulless. People DO celebrate Christmas, so why not say it? Others DO celebrate Hanukkah, so use that term, too. My family is an interfaith one and as I like to say, we don’t discriminate when it comes to gift-giving holidays. I may joke about it but it’s true, we do celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. Not Chrismukkah or Festivus; we call a spade a spade. But we do have a sense of humor about it, something the good sisters and the AFA probably would NOT find funny at all. Perhaps Voltaire was right when he said, “God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” AMEN.

You’d Better Watch Out

When we were kids and the first back-to-school ads would appear before the summer was in full swing, my siblings and I would scramble over each other to turn off the TV. Yes, Virginia, this was back in the day, before remote controls. There are some kids who actually like shopping for a new pencil case or a crisp new, notebook (guilty as charged) but to be reminded of school in mid July? Most kids think that’s just wrong. But Christmas ads? Bring ‘em.

Some people consider it crass commercialism to advertise for Christmas too early. This year, advertisements started in early October, even before Halloween. Some advertisers, like Kmart, acknowledged just how early their ads were with references to having “just carved pumpkins”. An AdweekMedia poll found that most people thought it wasn’t appropriate to advertise for Christmas until after Halloween. But since Kmart’s ads tout their lay-away program, it makes sense to get people thinking about their holiday shopping plans early.

In fact, many will advertise earlier this year and have even increased their holiday ad spending. Advertisers realize that shoppers have embraced a new frugality but as retail sales are up slightly, they are vying for their share of consumer spending. Many advertisements will reference this new frugality as Kmart’s “Shop Smart” with lay-away ads do. Macy’s will reprise their “Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus” campaign which seeks to put a human face on why we shop. Early spots focus on Macy’s legacy as the go-to place for Christmas shoppers, as depicted in the film classic, “Miracle on 34^th Street”. That movie is one of my traditions; I watch each year on Thanksgiving Day. As I baste the turkey, I smile at the opening scene which takes place on, you guessed it, Thanksgiving Day at the Macy’s annual parade, their “official” kick-off to the Christmas season. At least, that was the start date, back in the day. Today, Christmas ads start earlier but why not? As the song goes, we need a little Christmas, right this very minute.

Nothing to Sneeze At

I’m endlessly fascinated by badvertising, especially the spots you see that make you exclaim, “what were they thinking?!” My latest contender for a badvertising award is the newest campaign from Kleenex, “Get Mommed”. This is wrong on so many levels that I don’t know where to begin. It stereotypes gender, race, religion, and even lifestyle. The Asian mom is a scold, the Latino mom says nothing more than “Hola”, the WASP mom is self-involved, the Jewish mom is endlessly encouraging, etc.; need I go on? I get the premise that the man-child traveling from house to house stays with each mom while they pamper him but leaves the moment they perform an unspeakable “mom” act such as serving a green vegetable or trying to spit-clean his face. But this alienates female consumers, Kleenex’s key demographic. It also fails to put the brand in a good light. If these women fail at being moms then why would a marketer want them associated with their product?

When female consumers connect with a brand it’s because they see themselves exemplified in the campaign. That’s why Target’s “Essentials” ads are so successful; they show smart moms saving money by shopping at Target without sacrificing their family’s quality of life. If you want moms to aspire to buy your products, pay homage to their success at selflessness, the thing that makes all the hard work they do worth it. If Kleenex wanted to create a scenario typical of Kleenex users, a better and more plausible approach would’ve been to depict the nurturer moms that have a seemingly endless supply of tissues at the ready in any and all situations, proving how necessary Kleenex are and how resourceful mom is. A face full of cupcake in the back of the car? Pass the Kleenex box. A scraped shin on the soccer field? Take out the pocket-size tissue pack. Possibilities are endless, just like a supply of Kleenex.

An alternate approach would’ve been to show some key movie footage of famous criers such as Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind; Rhett Butler saying, “Never in any crisis of your life have I known you to have a handkerchief” or Diane Keaton as the jilted playwright during her crying jag in Something’s Gotta Give. An anonymous hand holding a Kleenex box comes in from off-screen with the tagline, “There when you need it.” Women would identify with those scenarios, maybe because they’ve experienced something similar. The new play, Love, Loss, and What I Wore is enjoying good reviews and a full house because women identify with many of the sentiments expressed by the actors. Getting your key demographic to identify with your brand is the key to brand identity. And that’s nothing to sneeze at.

In Sickness and In Health

There are those who swear by certain brands. Take my husband. Please. (props to Henny Youngman). He simply will NOT drink Coke even if it was the only drink offered to him after he’d just traversed a desert in a sandstorm in August. He is a Pepsi man, through and through. Tide is one of a few brands that people did not forsake during this recession. It has a premium price but loyalists did not budge. Dunkin Donuts coffee drinkers eschew Starbucks. Wonder white bread eaters won’t eat wheat. Pepsi drinkers think Coke is inferior and vice versa. What’s going on? Brand loyalty, my friends, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Clorox Co.’s earnings increased over 20% primarily due to sales of disinfecting products. People are cleaning up their acts because of concerns re swine flu and they turned to Clorox to help them with that. (And just as an aside, I think Miss Piggy would make a perfect pitchpig for the vaccine). Clorox comforts us when faced with fear of flu and that means the marketing has done its job. Consumers equate the brand with killing surface germs which right now, are enemy number 1. Stomach ache? Pepto-Bismol probably comes to mind. Brands that are consistent are like true friends. The ones you know you can count on to be there when you feel at your worst or simply when you need some reassurance. But those loyalties take time and only occur if a product delivers on its promise.

The recent flap about sugary cereals claiming they’re nutritional or that they help build immunity is only the latest in increased scrutiny from consumer watchdog groups. Claims that Cheerios could lower cholesterol were also under attack awhile ago. Marketers make such claims to pull ahead of the competition. If they tout these benefits in carefully worded ways they might not run afoul of consumer groups but to make a claim the main selling point of your product will always invite healthy skepticism. Tide and Coke are just a few brands that enjoy undying loyalty. They found the formula for success in good times and in bad, just like the perfect marriage.

P.S. After I wrote this post, Kellogg’s announced it would remove product claims that Cocoa Krispies builds “Immunity”.

Never Mind

One of the Saturday Night Live characters popularized by the great Gilda Radner was Emily Litella, the well-meaning editorialist whose malapropisms bedeviled her but delighted viewers. “What’s all this fuss about violins on TV?!” she would rant. When the host would gently intone, “That’s violence, Miss Litella, violence on TV”, she would turn to the camera with a beatific smile and say, “Never mind”.

That’s pretty much what Disney told consumers last week when they offered refunds to anyone who purchased Baby Einstein DVD’s over the past five years. The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood filed a complaint with the FTC regarding marketing claims that the videos educated infants. Those claims were removed from the videos three years ago but the recent offer goes much further with full refunds of $15.99 each. Ouch.

Another “never mind” came in the form of an announcement from some in the food industry that they would cut ties with the “Smart Choices” program. The labeling program features a large green check mark meant to convey the nutritional benefits of products. Smart Choice checks have graced products from Pepsi, Kellogg’s, and others. The F.D.A. has indicated concern that the program “confuses consumers” and may lead them to choose sugary cereals such as Froot Loops over healthier foods.

It’s hard to gauge the damage done to a brand when a company issues a mea culpa. In Disney’s case, they acted swiftly years ago when doubts first surfaced over the educational content claim of the Baby Einstein videos. The refund is further proof that they are willing to put their money where their mouth is, so to speak. Some food companies like Pepsi will phase out the Smart Choices program while others like Kellogg’s will maintain ties for now, no doubt until the F.D.A. issues a ruling at which time, they may too say “never mind”.

P.S. The biggest “never mind” occurred after I wrote this post. Microsoft pulled out of a deal with “Family Guy”, saying the show is “vulgar”. Um, soooo, they never actually WATCHED the show before?

P.P.S. After I wrote this postscript, Kelloggs took additional flack for its claims that Cocoa Krispies builds “immunity”.

Good Will Hunting

I was shopping today (yeah, I know, shocking) for a gift at Baby Gap and was reminded none too subtly by ominously low signage that they’re holding their annual “Casting Call”. This year, they’ve partnered with Disney, so not only does the winner of this beauty contest get a professional photo shoot with pics posted in-store and a $1,000 Gap gift card, there’s also a trip to New York or Vegas to see a performance of The Lion King. Because my nephews are gorgeous (natch) I decided to enter them. But wait…what? After I got past the pertinent data, I was asked to pay $19.95 to play. And right there? That’s when they lost me as a customer.

Nothing turns a customer off more than being asked to pay for something that they feel should be free. That’s why the contest term “no purchase necessary” was coined. Well, that and legal reasons. Seriously, the marketer should be happy to gain your pertinent data and perhaps your consent to receive email offers but money changing hands? That’s never a good idea, especially in this economy. How to cook up a winning recipe contest? Take one revered consumer brand, add one celebrity, mix in a charitable component, top it all off with a timely tagline and voila; a real treat. Which is what Frigidaire and Jennifer Garner have done with their “Make Time for Kids” pledge. When consumers go online and pledge to spend the hour they’ll gain when clocks are turned back by doing something with a child, Frigidaire will donate $1.00 to Save the Children and you’re entered into a contest to win a double wall oven. Somebody else donates and I get a shot at a prize? Sign me up.

Another great example of how to align your brand with a charity without having to ante up anything more than your own good will is the new “A Care Tag for Our Planet” from Levi’s and Goodwill. They’ve partnered in a program that will feature clothing tags encouraging consumers to donate their used duds not only because it’s the charitable thing to do but also because it could help reduce the 24 billion pounds of clothing that end up in landfills annually. A stat like could cure anyone of a shopping habit or at the very least, turn them into a donor. I can honestly say that I’ve never thrown an article of clothing away. When you come from a large family, there’s always someone to hand it down to. And also someone to remind you of that fact. Yeah, I’m looking at you, sis.

Good will comes in many forms, not least of which is promoting the exchange of cultures to foster tolerance. The city of Boston will introduce an interesting urban project next May called “Virtual Street Corners”. To promote interaction, storefront windows in one section of the city will act as video screens to display images from another part of the city. I was a resident of Boston and I can tell you there are some wide distances between neighborhoods and I’m not talking about the kind measured by mere miles. You can bet that other cities will be watching closely to see the results of this experiment. As a marketer, I see advertising opportunities to utilize the concept for unique promotions and contests. A scavenger hunt comes to mind, maybe one with a charitable component. Be the first to find the storefront window unexpectedly featuring our product and a win a free product or service for you and for a local charity. That’s the best kind of hunting, when it’s done for good will.

Black and White and Read All Over

There are advantages to reading the news online. No ink-smudged fingertips for one. Though I do lament the loss of my “subway fold” skill which is a mannerly vertical crease down the center of the paper, a survival trick New Yorkers perfect so as not to invite a crease in the skull from passengers annoyed at the breadth of your newspaper.

More and more people are turning to the internet for their news. It’s free, fast, and with smart phones, there when you want it. So people are saddened but not surprised to see magazines shuttered. Earlier this month, Condé Nast announced that they would close Gourmet magazine after almost 70 years. I’m a foodie but in my opinion, the magazine was becoming a little too esoteric with recipes calling for ingredients that required the equivalent of a trek to the Himalayas. Modern Bride and Elegant Bride were also closed as was a newer offering, Cookie. The brides may have been eclipsed by sites such as theweddingchannel.com and theknot.com. Cookie may have been a victim of the recession as it was targeted to moms who dressed their kids in designer duds, a practice that may now be out of practice. This week, layoffs were announced at Glamour, Golf Digest, Vanity Fair and Vogue.

So while it may seem surprising that AdAge has chosen Women’s Health as their Magazine of the Year, they did so based on the strength of the brand which also includes a website, book publishing, and even an iPhone app. I’m a Women’s Health fan simply because it’s one of very few women’s magazines that don’t talk down to women. Sure, it has the occasional article that might seem more at home in Cosmo but for the most part, it focuses on solid information that doesn’t just inform, it educates. And it’s been attracting more advertisers such as Clinique and Aveda. Reading it, one feels virtuous as if, were you to miss an actual workout, it’s almost the virtual equivalent of one. Alright, I said, almost.

The health of magazines these days is in question and survival will go to the fittest. In this case, it may well be those like Women’s Health, who has extended their brand beyond print into multi-media where they can be black and white and read all over.

Gender Benders

Ask a woman what she does to prepare for a date and get ready to listen to a litany that would rival a tactical offensive.  Ask a man and he may just reply, “Show up”. But men, now there’s an app for that.

The media world was atwitter this week over a controversial iPhone application that helps men ahem, prepare for a date. Titled appropriately enough in guy/sports speak, “Amp Up Before You Score”, the app offers strategies, pick up lines, and a scorecard for success in dating different stereotypical women. To wit, you needn’t worry about choosing a restaurant for a “dancer” as they don’t eat; to pick up a cougar, simply say, “Predator, meet your prey.” Uh-huh, that should work. AdAge, Brandweek, BrandChannel and others all covered the controversy of what many considered an application “inappropriate in its objectification of women”. Pepsi, who markets the Amp brand apologized, even creating the Twitter hashtag #pepsifail, putting the flap firmly into the social media forum for people to vent. Some feel the apology was disingenuous however as the app has not been pulled. As they say, all press is good press.

Other weird but true news was the firing of a 5’ 10”, 120 lb model for being “overweight”. Filippa Hamilton, a stunning 23 year-old who modeled for Ralph Lauren for 8 years was summarily dismissed when she “failed to fit into the clothes she was to model”. She is a size four. Just prior to the firing, her emaciated (retouched) body appeared in an ad for which Ralph Lauren apologized.

Making no apologies is the designer, Karl Lagerfeld who in addressing those who complain about stick-thin models said that “No one wants to look at fat women.” It should be noted that Mr. K is himself, formerly full-figured. Oddly, at least one German publication will ban the practice of hiring professional models as they must retouch their photos to make them appear “fatter” to stem the controversy. They will now hire “healthy” models. Score! Another designer, Christian Louboutin – who creates insanely high heels that anyone over 5’ 6” cannot wear in all good conscience – has proclaimed that Barbie has cankles. Barbie, the doll whose proportions do not naturally occur in human form. Apparently, Mr. L has designed 3 new Barbies for the youngest foot fetish set; complete with slimmer ankles and his signature stilettos, the better with which to twist them.

All this gender business has people bent out of shape. Maybe they could use a drink? If so, they might be interested in the brandless branding approach taken by Absolut vodka. The famous bottle is going label-less in a new campaign against sexual prejudice. No label, no logo, just the firm indication that it’s what’s inside that counts. Refreshing, in more ways than one.

P.S. After I wrote this post, Pepsi discontinued the Amp app.