“ENOUGH WITH THE TWITTER UPDATES ON LINKEDIN!!! IF I WANTED TO READ ALL YOUR TWITTER POSTS, I’D DO IT ON TWITTER!”

There were several comments from people who were also mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Some stated that they’d severed ties with contacts for this offense and implored judicious use of applications that share tweets on other networking sites. One entertaining rant pointed out that every random tweet didn’t deserve its own hashtag: “A single hashtag does not a trend make!”

I don’t mind reading Twitter updates on LinkedIn or any other site as long as they’re informational, varied and entertaining. What I don’t like, is when I see the same, exact tweets from a marketer over and over again until they lose all impact. A manufacturer of iPhone cases has been tweeting about their leopard-print line since well before Christmas. Surely, they have another line by now and if not, why not? A business advisor has been tweeting for some time about his personal services with vague references to ‘satisfied customers’ but if so, who are these customers cause I’d like to hear from some of them right about now.

How can a marketer strike the balance between too much information and too little?

All things in moderation. Don’t auto-schedule the same tweets and don’t re-tweet ad infinitum, you’ll bore your clients and drive off potential customers. Find a unique way to tie your message into time of day if possible so it resonates. Starbucks might tweet early about the coffee flavor of the day; Tyson could tweet new chicken recipes in the late afternoon when people are wondering what to make for dinner. Be topical, if something newsworthy helps you segue into a trendy tweet, have at it, but watch that you don’t offend anyone.

Variety is the spice of life. Post videos, feature customer testimonials, offer coupons so your followers never know what to expect. Think of your favorite store. Why is it your favorite? Probably because you find something new and different each time you visit it. If all you found there was the same tired merchandise day after day, you’d soon be shopping elsewhere.

Brevity is the soul of wit. Be brief, people have a lot of tweets to get through and they don’t have time to search through 140 characters to find your real message. “Today we have an extra special treat for you! Something you may have been wishing and praying for so go to our site and get your offer now!” That tweet was a 140 character tease that you might think is clever but it could irritate followers who click through to find that your offer is NOT one they have been wishing and praying for. The three basic rules of public speaking do not apply to Twitter (tell them what you’re going to tell them; tell them; and then tell them what you told them). Cut to the chase and just tell them.

Nothing personal. I’m sure that you’re a lovely person, whoever you are, but if you’re tweeting on behalf of your company or product, I don’t need to know what you had for lunch today. I follow your company or product, not you, so keep it professional. It’s not about you. Sorry, nothing personal.

I could go on but oh, never mind, that might be too much information.

When several charitable groups organized a plant sale to benefit the boys who had also lost their home to a flood, the response was overwhelming, raising $50,000 in less than three hours. Most who gave knew neither the parents nor the boys but all felt the need to give.

It’s in this spirit of giving, that I list just a few worthy charities below. They do a brilliant job of marketing because they are “gifts that give back”. Studies show that charitable giving benefits the giver as well as the recipient, so “give and ye shall receive”.

Oxfam America provides “lasting solutions to poverty, hunger and injustice”.

World Vision is “bringing urgent help and lasting hope for a child in need”.

The Greater Good “allows 100% tax-deductible contributions to pass directly through to nonprofit causes”.

Happy Holidays

Bargain hunting before dawn definitely appeals to many because Black Friday sales were up over 6% this year. I prefer to do my shopping from the comfort of my computer keyboard so Cyber Monday is more my speed. Already poised to exceed last year’s sales, the bargains will continue through what is now being dubbed Cyber Week with online specials from Walmart and others.

Some people denounce these sales ploys but I think it’s smart of retailers to offer Black Friday deals in advance of the actual day as well as deals throughout the week that begins with Cyber Monday. Investors think so too. Stocks surged today on the news of strong holiday sales. Maybe after years of cutting back, American consumers are opening their wallets and retailers could have a Green Christmas.

I’m one of those people who like finding that it’s Christmas in the stores even when it’s barely November. I hear people exclaim, “Not already!” but I don’t mind. There’s something so hopeful about holiday shopping – finding the perfect gift; getting the perfect gift – plus I love all the scents and the holiday music.

According to recent studies, in this respect, I’m atypical. The majority of consumers hate early Christmas promotions but few retailers let this affect their plans. However, there is one retailer who refuses to dress their stores for Christmas until Black Friday — Nordstrom.  But can retailers today really afford not to start promoting early?

My local mall advertised “pre-holiday” specials this past weekend and the place was mobbed. From the line of cars snaking their way in and out, I’d say they had a terrific response. Not that I did any shopping myself; too crowded. But I did hum along with the Christmas tunes as I coasted past.

Some other new products that are in the “why didn’t I think of that?” category:

The U-Socket with built-in USB ports was one of the best new tech products of 2010 and it’s more relevant than ever.

The Match tea light holder by Muuto is clever because you can slide a match through the side and never burn your fingers again.

Dyson’s Hot fan heater is pricey but functional and a thing of beauty compared to competitive products.

Auti is a clever toy for autistic children that will respond well to positive interaction but not to negative behavior.

Quirky is a site that sells so much cool stuff that there are very few items that I don’t want.

A recent study showed that if you touch a new product, you are more likely to buy it. So how do we account for pre-orders of 1 million of the new 4S iPhones in the first day? Brand loyalty. Consistent quality products. Easy, intuitive use. I could go on but I have to play with my iPad now.

You have to admire Target, they know how to collaborate (and curate) a collection. It makes me wonder what haute couture brand Target may target next? Kohl’s has Vera Wang so I suggest Marchesa. I could use an affordable gown. But please, no polyester.

P.S. I also bought a gorgeous glass Missoni bowl. Real glass, not melamine.

With one eye firmly on the retreating bear, my husband ran to the center of our front lawn and began pin wheeling his arms to silently get everyone’s attention. As all eyes looked towards him he pointed and mouthed “Bear!” Cue the formulaic cinematic reaction wherein mowers were abandoned mid-mow, kids were plucked off moving bikes, several garage doors closed almost simultaneously and a formerly populated suburban street looked like the scene after the annihilation of life on earth. A survivor in lockdown, I called 911 and was told “we’re on it”. Hence, the baking. I had a recipe for honey cake which seemed fitting, what with Yogi and family keeping me captive. So I set to work with one eye on the flour scale and another on the woods behind our house which I could see through a screen door whose sturdiness had never come into question before but in my imagination was now shredded into long strips by the claws of a bear.

The tenth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks was the next day and the bright blue sky, the mild sense of panic from the bear and the sight of my neighbors running to safety put me in a melancholic mood more than matched by the constant remembrances on the news. I never forget and today I will remember by listening to the names of the victims read one by one. I booked tickets to visit the 9/11 Memorial next month. It’s something we should all do. Yesterday’s sky was as blue as that horrible day 10 years ago; it’s what I remember first when I think of 9/11. There had been no reports that they’d caught the bear but as I waited for the cake to bake, I stepped onto our deck and took a moment to look up at the wild blue yonder to marvel at a sky so blue.

The thing that struck me was the pitch itself. It was dumbed down to the extent that the sell copy panders to its target audience as if they lost their previously long, lush lashes when they fell off the proverbial turnip truck. The pitch: Latisse is for those with inadequate (or not enough lashes). The “doctor” in the ad actually delivers the second half of that line sotto voice as if she’s saying yes, it’s embarrassing for all of us, you not knowing the definition of the word ‘inadequate’ so I’ll help this process along by giving you its meaning. My friend deadpanned that she knew what inadequate meant, after all we’re clearly listening to inadequate information, the FDA must’ve done inadequate research (judging by the voluminous contraindications read during the TV spot), and too many women in search of longer lashes may do their own inadequate research. So yeah, the word inadequate is clearly ‘not enough’.

The other recent example of sell-copy-oversell comes from a Raymour & Flanagan ad. In introducing her new furniture line, Kathy Ireland solemnly intones that it’s “exclusively AND ONLY at Raymour & Flanagan”. Several times. Doesn’t “exclusively” by definition mean “only”? Do the ad folks at R&F think their audience doesn’t understand the definition or do they just like reinforcing the message in this way? It reminded me of a scene in the hilarious movie Defending Your Life when a sushibar seat mate proudly tells a dumbfounded Albert Brooks that he owes the success of his strip club to the sign he created: “All Nude”.

A colleague recently took me on a tour of charming Honesdale, PA. We ate a delicious lunch on the terrace of the Cottage Cafe and strolled down the delightful Maude Alley with its trendy shops Freedlove, Toads T’s, Milkweed and the inimitable Sweet Eden. This gem of a bakery fronts a welcoming garden that is a veritable Eden. When you enter the large screen doors just below the cupcake-shaped store sign, your shoulders descend from the vicinity of your ears where they’ve been residing for the work week. It’s too hard to choose just one of their delicious treats so don’t – have a lemon square and a chocolate oat bar – you’ll be glad you did. And did I mention the creamy ice cream?

While there, we heard that several customers had encouraged the owner to add the word “bakery” to the Sweet Eden sign. But the fact that the sign is shaped like a cupcake should be enough. Besides, with its beautiful, tranquil garden, Sweet Eden is more than a bakery; it is a place where you will feel reborn. No hard sell, no oversell, just the compelling soft sell of the scene and the scents. Nothing else need be said.

Retailers are evolving though. Target has reconfigured their grocery aisles to add fresh produce and meat. Walmart decreased the number of skus in several sections of their stores and even introduced a new, smaller footprint for strip malls that is very unlike their large, free-standing stores. Dollar store sales are up but grocers report that customers shun $1.00 items in favor of “10 for $10″ sales. Some can’t get enough while others find less is more.

When I travel, I like to spy regional trends that I think would do well in my own neck of the woods. During my last trip, I saw food stores selling 1/2 sandwich packaged with a small salad; hotels offering a mini-bar in a box; and day-at-the-beach survival kits of small sized sunscreen with folding sunglasses. Of course, I still spotted the ubiquitous all-you-can-eat buffets and jumbo sized soft drinks but it was the micro-offerings that intrigued me most. In a country where obesity rates are sky-rocketing, small seems sensible. It might be a rare bird now but hopefully, this is a trend that could evolve into something less exotic.